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Sharing is Good...

Created: Wednesday, 17 December 2014 09:06

Last Updated: Sunday, 28 December 2014 09:46

Sunday, 28 December 2014 00:10

By Marnie Walth (BismarckTribune.com)

As a longtime runner with an adult-onset interest in triathlon training, I try to jump in the pool a few times a week to swim laps with the local master’s swim team. Don’t be fooled by the potentially pretentious sound of that — the descriptor “master” is simply the creative spin marketing-savvy sporting associations call us older-than-average athletes who want to keep playing....

In triathlon, for example, you are a master at age 40 and a grand master at 50. It’s an automatic title regardless of performance.

I digress. Back to the pool.

I started swimming 15 years ago when a running injury put me on the sidelines. My friend Melanie suggested it. I said thanks, but no thanks because I didn’t know how. She offered to teach me. I warily agreed.

It was a humbling adventure, but I’m glad I took the plunge. That lesson opened the door to not one, but two new sports Melanie would teach to me: swimming and, eventually, triathlon.

One bedeviling aspect of swimming is access. There is only so much swimming pool real estate in our community. At times there are more swimmers than lanes so three or more people share a lane by swimming counterclockwise circles. It takes some getting used to — sharing a swim lane — but with practice it becomes connate.

So imagine my surprise when I asked to share a fellow swimmer’s lane and she declined. It was a wintery Saturday morning and I was joining the master’s swim team workout in process at the YMCA. When I walked into the pool area, I quickly surmised all the lanes but one had three or more bodies. Lane 4 had just one — an unfamiliar lady one generation my senior swimming freestyle laps at a leisurely pace.

As is customary when a swimmer wants to join an occupied lane, I sat on the edge of the pool waiting to catch her attention and let her know my intention. She swam by two times without stopping, so I tapped her foot on that third lap. When she popped her head out of the water, I asked, as I’d done 100 times before, “Do you mind if I share your lane?”

This woman paused for a full two seconds. “I do (mind),” she said impassively. “I’ve shared enough in my life.” And away she went — right down the middle of the lane.

I was stunned by the rejection. After all, the request was clearly a rhetorical question. Like when I ask my husband if I may have his last bite of his strawberry kuchen pie. It’s not really a question; it’s a socially polite way of announcing I'm making my move.

As this woman gracefully stroked down the lane, my frozen face cracked into a smile. At once I understood and respected her preference to have the lane to herself, appreciated her directness and wondered what circumstances went into the “I’ve shared enough,” response. Not exactly North Dakota nice, but it’s where she needed to be at that moment in her day, in her life.

I’d like to think I learned much from this stranger that day. We all approach exercise-and, for that matter, life — in different ways. Some prefer social connectivity; others prefer personal space to be alone with their own thoughts.

As we dive deep into the holiday season, I hope you keep your exercise routine intact amidst the distractions and rhetorical questions you’ll face. Share your space when you can, but more than that, share your skills and knowledge. The gift of swimming is one of the best I have received.