FEATURES

Sticking It When The Sun Don't Shine...

Sunday, 26 June 2011 03:00

By Bonnie Lumen

The glow stick of shame.

Sadly, many of you know what I am talking about and hang your head in unison with me. For those of you who do not know of this unwanted trophy, I will explain. The glow stick of shame is that object that you are handed right around the 12 hour mark of your Ironman. Let me paint this diffusing picture for you. So there you are, racing your guts out- you have a bloody nose and a black eye from the swim, your bum is bruised and you feel like you've just been released from the roughest state penitentiary around, and your legs are on fire and about to explode, but you've got another half marathon to go. Another circuit on the old race course. You head up towards the chute and the crowd goes wild- they think you are about to race towards the finish line. Nope. You stare at your feet, quickly lower the brim on your hat, flip your race number...

around and sprint like heck around the turn around. And right when you think you've recaptured your dwindling dignity, you're handed a stick. The glow stick of shame. The thing lights up like the Statue of Liberty for all to see. You glance around and feel pity on your fellow racers whom are also handed the glow stick of shame. You look forward to the sun finally completely going down and giving you more coverage.

When I received my stick of shame, I made a cool bracelet out of it. I sort of felt like I was at Disneyland. Pretty soon it got so dark that had it not been for all of the sticks of shame all around me, I would have ran straight off the path and into a lake. Statistically, the average finishing time for an Ironman is 12-13 hours, respectively. That is about the time you are handed your very own glow stick. A friend of mine (*Don't worry, Nick- I will leave your name out to protect your identity