Race Previews

Zippy's Picks...

zippyThe 5th annual St. Paul Triathlons are being contested today. Last night we got our first peek at the registration list. We immediately challenged Zippy the Gibbon (photo) to drop what he was doing--throwing his poop at passing cars--and predict the Top 5 male and female finishers in the Olympic-distance race and the podium places in the sprint. Here are his picks:

Olympic Men - 1. David Holden (WI), 2. Brent Sinn (WI), 3. Anton Pshon, 4. Mike Fretland (ND), 5. Carl Unger...

Play it Again, Sam...

logoRace Preview - In an attempt to give MTN's readership a break from the relentless onslaught of goofy prose, we're going to keep this preview short and sweet. We predict that records will fall like one-legged 4.0-blowing inebriates with Teflon shoes on a glazed hillside at Saturday's Young Life Olympic Triathlon. Defending champ Steve Sander will push Sam Janicki to a sub-2-hr CR, which will be the first time that has been done here. Nevis' David Lewis will..

What's in a Name?

logoPigman Preview - "Pigman" is a perfect name. For an Iowa-based race, that is.


'Cuz there are more pigs in Iowa than people. (Let's hope they--the pigs--don't revolve. Iowans--the people--wouldn't stand a chance!)

Sadly, Iowa is one of the few states that have a perfectly named triathlon...

New & Improved...



OSCEOLA, Wisc. August 12, 2010

Trois Previewettes..Updated Yet Again..


"Trois Previewettes."


For those of who don't "spreckenze Francaise," "Trois Previewettes," pronounced "Twa Prehv-wah-etts," means

The Andres Bunch...

bradysNorthwoods Preview - We don't have a picture of Michelle Andres and her family. She has five kids, you know. All boys, we think. Now, imagine that Florence Henderson--Ma Brady--in the photo is Michelle. But imagine her--Florence--with long thick black hair, with discreet reddish highlights, and not a hideous blond shag. Then imagine that Mr. Brady, the guy with the perm in the middle of the shot, is her--Michelle's--husband and that five of the six kids are boys. Pretend the leftover kid is "Debbie," a portrait crasher from Pequot Lakes. (The Andres--pronounced "Ann-drees," not "Ann-Dress," are from East Gull Lake, which is a stone's throw south of Pequot Lakes.) Next, imagine that the older woman in the right corner of the picture is not Alice, the Brady's acerbic housekeeper. Instead, pretend that she's Michelle's spry Aunt Ethel, who is visiting from Minot. That would explain Ethel's helmety hairdo. Lots of older women in Minot have "hair helmets." Usually blue.

What does this have to do with anything?

Not much, except that we believe that Michelle, who is a terrific triathlete in addition to being a very fertile woman, will once again win the totally cool Northwoods Triathlon, the 8th edition of which is this Saturday. Andres has five career wins, three..

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