Race Previews

Not-So-Square Square Lake Preview...

lakeEven though Square Lake isn't really square-shaped (see drawing), it is still a very good lake.

Not-so-square Square Lake is also the site of two very cool multisport races, which are called the "Square Lake Long and Short Course Triathlons," which is less clumsy, though less correct, than calling them the "Not-So-Square Square Lake Long and Short Course Triathlons."

The 11th edition of the technically incorrectly named Square Lake Short Course Tri will be staged on Saturday; the long course event--half iron-ish in distance--will celebrate it's 10th anniversary on Sunday.

Hey, what are the course records, you ask?

Well, even if you didn't, here they are:...

Doing Moo....

logoKinda a Preview - Somewhere between 50 and 1000 Minnesotans will be participating in Ironman Wisconsin this weekend. We're not sure of the exact numbers, having gone blind picking out the "MN"s beside the names on the start list. MTN wanted to post an article that would be of interest to those Loon Staters who will "do Moo" on Sunday, especially those who are doing so for the first time. We also think that those who plan to do the 140.6-mile Tour de Madison in the future will appreciate this post, which we atmospherically "spiced up" with images of a farm, a happy cow and Jan Guenther.

By Rich Strauss (trifuel.com) - Athletes preparing for Ironman Wisconsin are eager for any information to give them a leg up on the day. Having seen the recent reports from Ironman..

Meat Frogs & Dork Ninjas...

buRace Preview - It is a "deep in the forest" kind of event for "deep in the forest" kind of people. You know, hermits and outcasts and ne-er-do-wells; unshaven and mmhunched with runny noses; odoriferous folks who talk to themselves; folks whose filthy bodies are ecosystems for multiple, especially insectile, disgusting life forms. Like "Raccoon Hat Guy" in the picture (right).

Well, maybe not that grizzly.

Actually, this event, the Burrito Union 5 & 10 Hour Triathlon, is for "part-time hermits and outcasts and ne-er-do-wells," otherwise civilized..

Treadman Du Stuff


Race Preview - Above are some pictures we burgled from the Treadman Duathlon website. On the far left is Ann Moyer, a very nice person who consumes huge quantities of yummy, organic, fair trade Peace Coffee, yet remarkably, does not have bad breath. How can that be? In a word: Altoids.

She Can't Resist...

logoBy Bonnie Trembler

It was race day and I had transitioned to the bike; pedaling smooth and steady with equal effort across my 360' degree rotations. The weather was perfect, the farmers' fields sailing smoothly by on my right and left, the air fresh with an overhang of crops scenting it lightly. Suddenly I felt an odd jolt beneath me. I glanced down quickly, not sure what to expect. My eyes went wide as my bike suddenly seemed to transform underneath me, the frame melting away and a smooth, black motorcycle evolving from the molten carbon lava. I jutted forward, instantly doubling my speed, not sure what was happening. I glanced down again only to look up in time to see myself crash headlong into a hay barrier that was layed out across the road. Wakening, I remembered the Easton wheels..

Hunky-Dory in Hudson...

goiterSt. Croix Valley Sprint Preview -WARNING: Some of this stuff is made up.

The 10th edition of the unmitigatedly hunky-dory St. Croix Valley Sprint Triathlon will be staged on Saturday logoin the All American and All Wisconsinian river town of Hudson, which incidently, was founded many years ago by an intrepid explorer from French Canadia named Hudson St. Croix. Hudson selected the site for the town that would eventually bear his name because of its proximity to the I-94 Bridge. This allowed him to cross into the Minnesota Territory and buy stuff, important supplies like tobacco and feedbags for his horses, in Oakdale, which was only a half day's horseyback ride from his settlement that was originally named Muttsville, after his faithful, though mangy, multi-indeterminate-breed dog. Changing the community's name to "Hudson" was the idea of his wife Anais (photo), an otherwise lovely woman who had a goiter the size of a crenshaw melon...

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